THE REAL STORY PART II

- Of course not, Robin. If he wanted to kill us he could have done it before. He had many chances but he didn´t kill us.
- Do you know where he might be living now?
- Well, I know it is somewhere in the west coast, but not exactly.
- Ok, baby. Thanks. It's better than nothing.
- Why don´t you play some Bejeweled and try to forget it?

- Yes, that might be a good idea. I have to beat my friend Amelia, that bastard has 577,650 points. 

- Fuck, your life is only about being better than the others. Why are you so competitive?

- You also compete for snowboarding, idiot!!

- But I do it for living, moron!

- Fuck you, Rebecca. I am leaving! Don't expect me for dinner...

- I was not expecting you to come, pendejo!

Robin picked up his arch and narrows and left as fast as he could. With only one shot he killed three little birds and made a barbecue at home with some friends. Uncle Scrooge was there. He brought the beers, cigarettes and marijuana.

Reid called Robin for a short talk:

- Robin, before we smoke I would like to ask you if you have got something.
- Yeah, I do.
- So??
- Well, I found that he lives somewhere in the west coast. I will have to go there and keep searching. Don't worry, I will find him.
- Ok Robin, good job. Other thing. Do you know where I can find Mrs. Piggy? She's hot and with my money I can seduce her... I saw her yesterday on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno.
- LOL, really?? Well, last time I heard of her she was living in Pennsylvania.
- Hmmm, fuck. Are there direct flights to Pennsylvania?
- Directs I don't know but maybe you can leave from Madrid. You fly to New York. Then you can easily find a way to reach Pennsylvania. If you need a place to stay I have Sean Lotarsky there. You can sleep in his place! I will call him.
- How much is the round trip?
- Not much, like 1000$ if you buy in advance!!
- Awesome. Thanks man. Let's smooooke like the old times!
- That's the Ried I knoooooow! Hey scrooge, bring the stuff. Let's smoke!

- QUA QUA

TO BE CONTINUED

I LOVE THIS WORLD AND ALL IT CAN DO FOR ME!

Other day I was on my way to the company and I heard a song, on my mp3 reader, with this wonderful message "I love this world and all it can do for me".
Well, we don't decide if we want to be born or not, it is not our decision. By the way, I came to this world by accident. I shouldn't be here. Sweet accident :)
Then, during the first years of my life, I was lucky, so I was  feeling protected and loved by my parents. I just had no concerns, enjoyed this protection and lived in an innocence.
As I grew up, I got more and more independent, I was feeling a bit lost for some times. I did wrong (for example, my first time to get a train by my own LOL), I did right  (some things...), but at least, I was doing.

During the different stages of my life, the world provided me new scenarios, new people, new challenges (I always tried to make it happen). I made good and bad friends, I had good and bad jobs, I have been poor and less poor, I have been in hot weathers and cold weathers. I have been in several countries and I want to be in much more. At least I don´t know in witch country I am going to keep living, retire and die. Interesting ;)

Nowadays travelling and working abroad is easy. I have many friends of mine in England, in France, in Belgium, in Switzerland, in Sweden, in Spain, in Angola, in Poland, etc. Today's generations are form Africa, Europe and Asia, North and South America and Australia, form all the islands and all the seas. Not from a single country. Those times are gone. Your root remains in your birth country but you spread branches and leaves wherever you go.  

Wherever you are, however you feel, whatever you want, just enjoy every single action and reaction you may make and get. Enjoy every good morning and good night kisses and cuddlintg with your friends and girlfriends/boyfriends, every hugs, every beer and shots you drink, every smile. Say good morning to your neighbour, to your dog, cat, baker, etc. If a pidgeon shit on your head just laugh, don't yell on it.

If we were given the opportunity to be here, let's enjoy it as much as we can. And don't try to teach others how to do it. It is not your business.

THE REAL STORY

The Bad Wolf, whose name is Juan Velasquez, born in the Pyrenees, always revealed to be rebel. Besides being aggressive to his brothers, he is also accused of practicing bulling in school with the younger wolves. Because of that he never had a girlfriend and never a female wolf had interest in getting to know such an arrogant wolf.

One day, he went to the lagoons somewhere in the west coast of the Pyrenees. He spent there almost the entire day, and of course, started getting hungry. Because he was too young, he couldn´t hunt small animals because they were too fast and agile for him. So he decided to go home where his mother was preparing a wonderful family dinner. That day his uncles and hunts were coming from Switzerland for visiting purpose. For the dinner, his parents had captured, in the day before, the Chicken Little, Seven Dwarfs and the Snow White.

When Juan Velasquez was on his way home he saw 3 small pigs walking towards somewhere. He thought they were easy to capture and eat. The leftovers could be left for other day. With the defloration and the fire in the forest, food was no longer abundant in the Pyrenees like before.

These 3 pigs were very different. Piotr had dreadlocks until his tail. He was jobless due to drugs abuse and only had the High School. Activist, many times seen in the protests against the cutting trees to build the new piggery. This pig has an ecological Zero Carbon Emission house, build with straw.

Dexter was a bit stronger, taller, with carpenter as a profession. Born sportsman, dropped the course of sports in the University when realized that could not live using sports as a profession. He has a small house built with wood and the roof made with tiles stolen from the neighborhood.

The 3^rd pig, Reid, was finishing Civil Engineering, just arrived from Rome where he made his Erasmus and was about to defend his final project. Had a merit scholarship that allowed him to pay for the University and buy all the materials he needed to build his house. His house is made with double walls made with brick and inside filled with 8 cm thermal insulation, extruded polystyrene.

The wolf followed them to see where they were living. Waited until all of them were inside their houses and attacked. Piotr and Dexter were killed in seconds. Their houses were not strong enough to protect them against Juan. Reid survived because the wolf could not get inside his house. Anyway, Juan Velasquez had enough. He took Piotr and Dexter and stored them in small pieces inside his freezer.

Reid is now a different pig. He grew up with this anger and hate inside him. The murder of his brothers 7 years ago left marks. He is now the owner of a very successful construction company based in Madrid, with connections with Dubai, Shanghai and something starting in New York. He has a few friends and only one is important, Robin. Robin is expert inside the woods and forests. He knows Pyrenees like no one else. Lives a great house made with bricks offered by Reid. Feeds himself hunting preys using his arch and narrows. His cellphone is ringing now:

·      -   Hi Robin

·      -   Who’s this?

·       -  It’s Reid, for God’s sake!!!

·        -  Fuck, sorry. Didn’t save your number before. Hey Reid, what’s up?

·         - Got a minute?

·         - Sure man

·         - Need a favor!

·         - What?

·         - Need you to find someone for me?

·         - Who? Your partner?

·         - No, I can deal with him later. It’s Juan Velasquez, the wolf.

·         - Man, why are you doing this to yourself? Just forget it

·         - I can´t Robin. Too much anger, too much pain. This guy made me who I am now, a monster

·         - That case is closed. Please, choose another target.

·         - You do it or not?

·         - Ok man but you know it is not cheap.

·         - How much?

·         - 50000€, in my Swiss bank account.

·         -No problem I also have an account in Switzerland. Tomorrow you will have the money!

·         - Are you still sure you want to do this?

·         - Fuck Robin, not again. If you want I can call Sherlock Holmes.

·         - Ok dude, don´t stress.

·         - Thanks Robin. Check tomorrow your bank account. And remember, we never met today, ok? Bye and     take care

·        -  Ok, you take care. Bye.

Robin decided to tell the news to his girlfriend. Robin is dating with Rebecca, aka Little Red Riding Hood. She loves the red color. She feels attracted by red color and Robin cannot deny, she, get really hot with red on her. Super athletic body. She was champion, last year, in Snowboarding Half Pipe in the Winter Olympic Games defeating Gretchen Bleiler in the final. With a degree in Environmental Engineering, she performs conservation plans for the Pyrenees

After making love with Rebecca, Robin lights his cigarette and says:

·     -    Reid paid me 50000€ to find someone!

·      -   Fuck, 50000€?

·       -  Yeah baby, that’s right, 50000€!

·       - Who are you supposed to find?

·        - Juan Velasquez, my dear!

·        - Is it the wolf?

·        - Yep

·        - Fuck. Police is investigating. It is believed that his gang killed my grandmother 3 years ago.

·        - Sorry Reb. Didn’t know that!

·        - No problem Rob. I got over it!

·        - That motherfucker and his family are responsible for the dead of Reid’s brothers 7years ago and also other important Disney characters.  I am afraid he may also want to kill us.

   

TO BE CONTINUED

BABIES

Yesterday I was having a great time with my girlfriend watching videos with babies on Youtube. We were laughing a lot and we spent an hour doing that. Everything was going perfect, than she asked:

"Do you think our baby is gonna be like these?"

That question came to me as a punch on my stomach. All those thoughts and pictures of babies crying,  came to my mind.

Except during the conception of the baby (wich is funny), the rest is all about nuisance. When they are born, babies still don't know how to behave in society and don't have any kind of interrelation skills. So, they are bad people, selfish, non-interesting, not funny, don't care about anyone else but themselves, and they are not aware of their rudeness and impoliteness.
To make it worse, you have to deal with this until they learn how to be, actually, real people. And you guys, think that, when they grow up, they will apologize for all the sleepless nights, noise, stress, stink, etc???? Of course not.

So far I didn't, but I swear I will do it in December, when I go back home.

People may think this is selfish, but I rather spend my time and money having great time and travelling with my girlfriend than educating children. I know society does not understand this point and it is also unnatural not to have babies. But I also think that many people have the same opinion but don't sahre it with the others.

At a certain age, women have the desire to be a mother. Man can't help it and can not deny this desire to women. So it happens that many people may think like me but, sooner or later, will have to accept the fate: FATHERHOOD

Because of it, it is better if I just stop crying like a baby and answer to my girlfriend's question with:

"Don't worry my dear, he\she will be even better."

ALIEN RESURRECTION IN EARTH

There was an Alien, came from the space. This individual didn't die from the explosion of the Sapaceship. It managed a way to survive. Now it came to Hearth and wanted to host itself in my girlfriend’s body.  Reasons why it chose her body are still unknown.  She called me saying that this creature was running after her.

I couldn't help her alone. I had to call my friends. They came from all around the world, willing to help my girlfriend.  Together we were a strong team, with lots of missions successfully completed before.

We went up the hill to have a clear view.

There was no network on our cellphones and GPS.

The weather conditions were horrible, so we couldn’t see clear.

Later, we could see clear now the fog was gone. My team found some evidences.

We knew we were getting closer.

Until I finally see them.

She was heroically still running away from the alien.

I just started running after them as fast as I could.

And I killed the alien.

FREEDOM OF SPEECH

Maybe it is worthy to share this!

Everybody's Free To Wear SUNSCREEN!


The Greatest Speech Ever Made



Hope you enjoy it :)

ARE WE HAPPY?

People have been asking me and I have been asking people if they are happy now. And, in 90% of the cases, happiness always has something to do with job:


"Yes I am ok but if I had a better contract..."
"No, I need a better job"
"Yes, but my parents are always telling me to find something better"
"With this job I can't do this, I can´t do that, I can´t go here, I can´t go there..."


You can hear hundreds of excuses and the strangest thing is, people are never happy with their current situation. If they are jobless, they say:
"Oh, any kind of job would be great. Just need something".


If they have a job:
"Shit, I don't like my boss, I don't like the people I am working with, this job is not great, I should be earning more, etc". The thing is, what ever they find, they will never be happy. If they earn a very good salary, normally, they will have to work 10, 12, 14 hrs a day. And if these guys find a way to go out with friends, they will be sitting in the bar complaining how difficult their life is.


In Portugal, people found a way to fight against this situation. They manage a way to get subsidies from the government and reject any job offer they may get.


My experience tells me that mothers and grandmothers like to go to the hairdresser and say to their friends that their son or grandson is doctor, engineer or scientist! I've seen it so many times, specially with my grandmother.


For example, my mother cried like a baby when I went to Copenhagen to be a Bike-Taxi driver.

 She was wondering what she was gonna say to her friends.

The truth is that even being a hard job, I had a wonderful time in Copenhagen cause I met more people than during my Erasmus and, when we were not working, we were sitting on the taxi, talking about random things, eating fake Nutella, go to Christiania, etc .But the best of all is that, working 8h/day I could earn until 300€ during the month of July and 100€/day in May and June. Isn't it great? After 3 months I went back to Portugal with almost 5000€.

If you could save this in a year, wouldn't be great? How many engineers, scientists ordoctors can save 5000€ in 3 months?


What is happiness? Having hundreds of thousands of € (or , £,$, PLN, whatever)??? I think that happiness means different things to different people. I miss those times when I was in Portugal, earning average 500€/month, bodyboarding with Falcão or Mountain-biking with João Gomes before go to work, everyday have wonderful times with my girlfriend Ana :), still have time to hangout with my friends and practice in the group Bomboémia. 
Maybe other people miss the days of full bank account and the days with a good job.


If my mother's goal was raise me and make me a happy person I can say that she made a wonderful job. Right now, I have a job with no stress at all, I hang out with my friends before and after work, Snowboard season is about to start and... I am living together with my girlfriend. What else do I need? 


If she is proud of me, I hope so. And I really hope she understands that I am happy.


PS: Orlando, how's your job? :P